Extremely Lame

Apparently, there’s a judge in the small northwestern Colorado town of Fort Lupton who has come up with a new and interesting way of punishing those people who are cited for noise violations. Judge Paul Sacco has decided to make offenders listen for an hour to music that they don’t like, such as Barry Manilow or the Platters or Barney.

I don’t know if the judge is trying to come off as clever or cute, but really? He’s doing neither and coming off as dumb. Way to make yourself look like you’re completely out of touch. What’s next? Are you going to make kids do yardwork for trespassing on someone’s lawn?

Oh, and way to go with that hard hitting reporting, Associate Press. This article pretty much has “Morning Zoo Material” written all over it, solely written so that a bunch of mouth-breathing morons can yuck it up in front of some mics so that other pathetic rubes can talk about it around the water cooler with all of their equally empty-headed co-workers in a pathetic attempt to bring levity to their meaningless lives.

Seriously? The article (and this judge’s meted punishment) is pretty much guaranteed to elicit a bunch of dumb guffaws and statements like, “HUR HUR He showed them youngin’s a thing or two about the loud racket they play. They don’t make music good anymore like they used to, nosiree bob.”

That’s another thing that just pisses me off, this assumption that anything new is crap and everything old is somehow awesome. You know? I’ve got two words for you: Captain and Tenille. Oh, wait, how about Bread? Yeah, there’s a lot of crappy music that came out in the ’60s and ’70s, but you don’t hear it on the oldies and classic rock stations anymore. Why? Because they sucked. New stuff doesn’t get the gift of selective remembrance, so naturally you’re going to hear a higher percentage of stuff that isn’t good.

I’d love to get hit with this citation and then have them try to find stuff I won’t listen to. Bring on the heavy metal, bring on the rap, bring on the country, bring on the crooners, I’ll be able to listen to pretty much anything for an hour, especially if it’s something I’ve never heard before. By the time they find something I couldn’t stand, my hour would be up and I’d be let go, maybe with a few new CDs that I’d need to add to my Amazon Wishlist as a result.