Extremely Lame

Despite John McCain being a perpetual gaffe machine, we’ve seen the Obama campaign hesitate on attacking him too much. Maybe they felt that people would see them as picking on an old man. Apparently enduring McCain’s negative and dirty campaign was too much once it was shown to have had an effect on voters. The Obama campaign has focused on John McCain’s latest gaffes and has unleashed a healthy dose of whoopass.

First we have McCain saying that the cutoff between middle class and upper class is $5,000,000 a year. He said that as a joke. He even said that it would be taken out of context, and it was. In my opinion, the full context is what makes him seem more woefully out of touch.

The man thinks that rich is to have a house, a job, and the ability to provide for your children. I don’t know, maybe it’s me who’s completely out of touch, but I thought that was pretty much the definition of middle class. If that’s his scale, then it would seemingly make being on WIC and food stamps John McCain’s definition of middle class, and you won’t be at the John McCain poverty level until you’re sleeping on the street and eating out of a dumpster.

I’m not allowing him to re-define rich by saying that he knows about unhappy billionaires and calling them poor because that wasn’t the definition of rich in the initial question.

Oh, and his railing against Congress for taking too many vacations and constantly referring to Congress as a scary “THEM” really sends me over the edge. Mr. McCain, you are the senior Senator from Arizona. You have been a member of Congress for the better part of three decades. You have no right to complain about how much Congress sucks. Why? BECAUSE YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM! You, Mr. McCain, have missed a total of 407 votes during this session of Congress. That’s over 60% of the total votes. In fact, you haven’t made a single vote in the Senate since April.

In the interest of fair play, Barack Obama has missed 290 votes this session for a total of 45.5%. His last vote was in early July. However, Obama’s not the one who’s lamenting over little work Congress does and how corrupt they are. Hell, Obama could actually pull off a rebuke of the corruption of Congress by K Street since he’s not been in the legislature for almost as long as I’ve been alive.

The second of McCain’s supposèd gaffes, and the first actual one (well, the first one today), can be found in an interview with Politico. John McCain is so well off that he can’t remember just how many houses he owns. He has to ask his staff. Survey says? Four, at least four. Correct answer? Seven. John McCain owns seven homes, which is so many that he just can’t keep track of them.

This is the point that is being driven home by not only the Obama campaign, but by Democrats pretty much everywhere. It’s like the machine has finally built up enough steam from the steady stream of bile erupting from John McCain’s lips that Democrats are finally on the attack. Note that there’s a difference between going negative and dirty politics. Negative campaigning focuses on existing flaws and gaffes made by an opponent. Dirty campaigning fabricates negative things to say about the opposing candidate. The Democratic leadership and candidates have gone negative, but they haven’t gone dirty. Not yet, at least. Of course, Democratic supporters haven’t hesitated from doing that, just as Republican supporters haven’t.

Andrew Romano puts a good bit of sense into the entire rabble-rousing that’s likely to be ignored. He brings up the point that his wife was the one who purchased all of the homes and he’s probably only visited some of them once or twice. Of course, while it explains the gaffe, it doesn’t really make it go away, and it also doesn’t address the fact that he has seven homes. That fact makes it look like he’s completely out of touch when he says that the economy is “fundamentally strong.”

For the past week, the Attorney General has been berated up and down Pennsylvania Avenue for uttering the following with regard to the current scandal of the Bush Administration’s politicization of judicial hirings and appointments. Basically, Monica Goodling and Kyle Sampson spent time under then Attorney General Alberto Gonzales passing over candidates for positions for “not being Republican enough” and determining this through questions that sound more like those that Stephen Colbert would utter. Things like, “Aside from the President, give us an example of someone currently or recently in public service who you admire,” and, “What is it about George W. Bush that makes you want to serve him?” Can’t you just imagine Monica Goodling asking an interviewee, “George W. Bush: great President, or greatest President?”

Forgive me, that’s just a little bit of back story. While it was determined that asking such questions to potential appointees is highly unethical, the Attorney General is declining to prosecute Goodling and Co. His spectacularly blundered explanation amounted to this:

“Where there is evidence of criminal wrongdoing, we vigorously investigate it,” Mukasey said in a speech at the American Bar Association. “And where there is enough evidence to charge someone with a crime, we vigorously prosecute. But not every wrong, or even every violation of the law, is a crime.” (emphasis mine)

That quote has been pretty much put on a loop for the past few days, and the blogosphere has been foaming at the mouth over it ever since. I’m not a lawyer, but I think Mukasey’s quote is legally correct, even if he’s not in the right. Allow me to explain.

First off, Mukasey is getting all philosophical by refraining from dealing in specifics and engaging in broad generalities (as opposed to making generalizations about broads). Furthermore, he’s using definitions of words that have very specific, but different meanings, in different contexts. It’s a very Clintonian move, up there with defining “is.” He’s not talking about the Department of Justice’s hiring practices. He’s simply saying that there are situations where a violation of the law is not a criminal offense. And you know what? He’s right. Technically.

Not all laws are criminal laws, thus violation of said laws are not technically crimes by the legal definition.  Which is good, because it would really suck to be thrown in PMITA prison for letting a parking meter expire. A parking violation, while a violation of law, is not a crime; it’s a citation.

Excepting that, you also have the difference between criminal law and civil law. Criminal law is like murder, theft, fraud, etc., whereas things like violations of one’s civil rights warrant a civil complaint.

I’m not trying to say that the Department of Justice was right by engaging in these unfair hiring practices, and I’m definitely not letting Mukasey off the hook for declining to bring up a civil case against Goodling, Sampson, and anyone who engaged in these practices. I’m just saying that if you’re going to bellow and complain about it, at least get your facts right, so you and those whose ideas you agree with don’t come off looking like a bunch of idiots.

Thank you, Blender Magazine for asking the tough hitting questions to the two presidential candidates. They asked them to each make a list of their top ten favorite songs. You know, because there isn’t enough things to talk about, like the economy, or Russia’s attack of Georgia, or the war in Iraq. No no! We have to find out what they listen to.

You know what’s sadder than the fact that they were asked this? The fact that crap like this will actually affect how people vote in November. It’s almost enough to make denying certain people the right to vote seem not so bad.

Here’s Barack Obama’s list:

1. The Fugees - Ready or Not
2. Marvin Gaye - What’s Going On
3. Bruce SPringsteen - I’m On Fire
4. Rolling Stones - Gimme Shelter
5. Nina Simone - Sinnerman
6. Kanye West - Touch the Sky
7. Frank Sinatra - You’d Be So Easy to Love
8. Aretha Franklin - Think
9. U2 - City of Blinding Lights
10. will.i.am - Yes We Can

As for John McCain’s picks, here they are:

1. ABBA - Dancing Queen
2. Roy Orbison - Blue Bayou
3. ABBA - Take a Chance On Me
4. Merle Haggard - If We Make It Through December
5. Dooley Wilson - As Time Goes By
6. The Beach Boys - Good Vibrations
7. Louis Armstrong - What a Wonderful World
8. Frank Sinatra - I’ve Got You Under My Skin
9. Neil Diamond - Sweet Caroline
10. The Platters - Smoke Gets In Your Eyes

There you have it. Yes, we get it. They both have Frank Sinatra on there. Big whoop. Sinatra’s classic, and there’s other artists I could see on both of their lists, like the Stones or Lous Armstrong.

I can imagine pundits reading way too much into these lists and making all kinds of ridiculous claims. I can imagine them criticizing McCain for having two ABBA songs and say that it was a calculated move on his part because Mamma Mia just came out and it’s chock full of ABBA songs.

On the reverse, I see them criticizing Obama for having Kanye West and the Fugees on there as being “safe” because he has to have hip hop on the list and those are hip hop artists that white people actually like. That said, Kanye West’s video of Touch the Sky is pretty awesome.

In another ringing endorsement on the state of law enforcement in this country, we bring you to Berwyn Heights, Maryland, where the mayor was held and his dogs executed. Full story from the local major newspaper here. The execution of this is just so full of fail that it makes me ill.  Here’s the timeline of events.

1. Someone online gets the addresses of some residents of Berwyn Heights, MD, including the wife of the mayor.
2. Identity thieves/drug runners then mail packages of marijuana to these people and people within the delivery companies are supposed to intercept the packages before they actually get delivered to the correct address.
3. Drug sniffing dogs in Arizona identify the package sent to Trinity Tomsic, the wife of the mayor of Berwyn Heights.
4. Package is intercepted by police, and then handed over to Prince George County authorities.
5. Prince George County undercover officers deliver said package to the mayor’s address, where the package is left on the door.
6. The mayor, Cheye Calvo, comes home from work, sees the package and brings it inside.
7. Calvo changes clothes and walks his dogs, waving to plainclothes police officers watching his house (not knowing that they’re cops).
8. Calvo returns and goes upstairs to change for an evening event.
9. Calvo’s mother-in-law screams, as she sees people in plain clothes, masks, and weapons through the windows.
10. The Prince George County officers, in plain clothes, raid the mayor’s house without announcing themselves.
11. One of the mayor’s black Labrador retrievers is shot almost immediately, despite him standing next to the mother-in-law. The second one is shot as it is trying to run away from the noise.
12. The mayor and his mother-in-law are bound and put on the ground, the mother-in-law next to the remains of one of the dogs she just saw executed.
13. The mayor asks to see the warrant; the police refuse.
14. The county police retrieve the unopened package of marijuana.
15. The mayor and his mother-in-law are taken in and questioned. The county police do not believe him when he tells them that he is the mayor of the town he is living in.
16. The mayor and his mother-in-law are released as no other drugs or any other illegal things were found, other than the marijuana the police themselves delivered, with no apology offered for the mistake. In fact, no mistakes were admitted.
17. A week later, a delivery person and his partner are arrested for using addresses along his route as codes that said packages contain drugs.

The list is an example of egregious practices by the Prince George County police. But wait, there’s more!

First off, no knock warrants are not issued in the state of Maryland, but “exigent circumstances” allow for police on the scene to not knocking before entry. Those circumstances are if knocking would endanger the police or if evidence is likely to be destroyed. Had they researched and found out that this was the mayor, they’d know he’s likely not to commit suicide by cop. And no toilet in any home I know would be large enough to dump 30 pounds of pot in a short amount of time.

Secondly, they saw him walking his dogs just before they raided. They could see their demeanor right there and that they wouldn’t be trying to eat the face of anyone not its owner.

Thirdly, the county police never bothered to inform the city police, who would have been able to tell them that it was the mayor’s house and they’d be *gasp* willing to talk to him and he’d likely allow them to search the premises provided they did have a warrant (which they did have).

Fourthly, had city police driven by and seen armed masked people milling about someone’s house, it is pretty reasonable to expect that a firefight could have ensued between different police departments because of the aforementioned lack of communication.

Don’t think that this is just some sort of isolated incident or tragic mistake. Take a look at this Google Maps mashup of botched paramilitary police raids provided by the CATO Institute. You can also click on any of the markers to read more about what happened there. You can also zoom in and click and drag the map to where you need it. As you can see, these aren’t isolated; they’re an epidemic.

And if you want to give the Chief of Police of Prince George County, you can find him at:

Melvin C. High
Chief of Police Prince George’s County Police Department
7600 Barlowe Road
Landover, Maryland 20785

I almost feel as bad for John McCain as I did for John Kerry in 2004. His campaign seems to be turning into a farce of a campaign. Then again, that hasn’t stopped people from getting elected before. In fact, it may actually may be a significant advantage to look like a complete boob. It’s worked for the past eight years.

Today, we’ve got John McCain mocking Obama for… (spins the Wheel of Fun®)… suggesting that people keep their tires properly inflated to increase gas mileage. No, I’m serious. He actually did mock him for it.

Why not bother attacking Obama on his positions? Oh, yeah. While it is possible to criticize Obama’s positions, it’s very difficult for McCain to do so because he’s been on both sides of pretty much every salient issue, so bringing up virtually any position makes him look like a hypocrite. So instead, they attack stupid little things like tire pressure. Because apparently McCain has a better use for hot air.

My name is Cochese, and I approve this message.

There are a couple McCain ads that have just sort of floored me in the past week, and the Democratic response to one of them is even more idiotic.

The first of these is on McCain’s website, with color commentary in the Boston Herald. Let the mudslinging begin. There’s the claim that Barack Obama was more concerned about heading to the gym (in 26 minutes) than visiting wounded troops in Iraq because cameras weren’t allowed in. First off, the reason for canceling the trip was that the campaign was informed the day prior that because he was going there with a retired general as part of his staff, it’d had been considered a campaign visit instead of a senatorial one, and the desire to not use troops as political fodder won out. No matter what the decision, it’d have been lambasted by the right (which is why he should just do his own thing instead of what’s politically expedient *COUGH COUGH FISA*). Hell, this entire trip to the Middle East and Europe was fueled by the right basically daring him to go, and when it was apparent he wasn’t going to fall on his face or ride in a tank, they started impugning him for going.

Interestingly enough, that’s not the most amusing part of the commercial. That footage of Barack Obama “going to the gym,” accusing him of being too busy to visit the troops? That’s him with U.S. troops, in Kuwait, last week.

But wait, there’s more! Because of the negative response to that ad from both the left and the right, it got sent off the airwaves in favor of a much more highbrow commercial, one that compares Obama to Britney Spears and Paris Hilton. I’m not kidding you.  You know it’s bad when you have a longtime friend of McCain say that, “There is legitimate mockery of a political campaign now, and it isn’t at Obama’s. For McCain’s sake, this tomfoolery needs to stop.”

That said, some of the reaction to this ad by the left (though not the Obama campaign itself, as far as I can tell) almost stuns me into silence. Some are rattling their sabres by saying that coupling Obama with a couple of “white, blond, bimbos” is indicative that the McCain campaign wants to draw the allusion that the scary black man is asking, “Where the white women at!?” Really? No, seriously, really? Do you really want to give credence (I wouldn’t hold out much hope for it though) that normally ludicrous accusation that Obama supporters play the race card? I’m even hesitant to agree with Gawker, who quotes Rick Perlstein as saying that the commercial is more reminiscent of Triumph of the Will. I can actually see kind of a subtle Godwin in the ad, but you aren’t going to see me accusing McCain’s campaign of trying to paint Obama as a Nazi.

People always complain about the nanny state in the United States, the grotesque amount of video surveillance that goes on in the United Kingdom, and the love of censorship that’s seemingly inherent in Australia’s government. I think we may have found something more onerous than any of those. Congratulations, Australia, you’ve finally made it to the big time.

Apparently, the Australian government is in negotiations with the U.S. music industry to broker a deal where you could be thrown in jail “for being in possession of commercial-scale quantities of copied music” when you come into Australia and are forced to give up your laptop and iPod for inspection.

Of course, we aren’t privy to what amount constitutes “commercial-scale quantities.” Furthermore, how on earth are they going to tell what is pirated and what is a ripped copy of a CD you own? I have three binders full of CDs. This is something like 450-500 CDs by my estimate. I took the time to rip all of those to my laptop so I wouldn’t have to lug the things around everywhere I went. At the higher bitrate, it takes up about 70 GB of space. I’m pretty sure that would constitute “commercial-scale quantities” of music that I legally own. Or would they just look at my collection and say, “Oh, you have copies of Chuck Mangione and Rammstein, no one would listen to both of those, these are obviously pirated versions,” and then simply throw me in jail because my mp3 collection somehow makes me look guilty? How would I be able to prove I owned this music when my CD collection is in another hemisphere?

A growing excuse I’ve been hearing from single women as to why they’re single is something along the lines of, “I’m soooo independent and intelligent and confident and men just can’t accept that.” They then proceed to tell their friends (and by extension, everyone around them because they seem to always do this in public and always really loudly) just how awesome they are and how intimidated everyone is by her and her sheer awesomeness.

Yes, I am sure there are plenty of backwards, mouth-breathing morons who would prefer their women subservient, weak, and lilting. I’m sure that there are plenty of people who cannot tell the difference between confident and assertive and manipulative bitch. I’m not one of them. I prefer women who can take care of themselves and don’t resolve themselves to being forced to rely on others to get anywhere. Furthermore, I know that I’m far from the only one.

All that said, maybe the problem isn’t that men are driven to emasculation by the dazzling brilliance that is you; maybe it’s that you can’t tell the difference between confidence and pretension. Just as many people like smart people but hate know-it-alls, there are a lot of people that like and admire confidence, but are turned off by people that tacitly assume that others are inferior because of their inflated senses of self worth.

The other day I got lambasted at a gathering because I and another philosophy geek were discussing existentialism. People who weren’t even part of the discussion overheard us and because they thought that we were talking about religion, we were not-so-politely told to shut up because religion and politics aren’t  appropriate for “polite conversation,” never mind the hypocrisy of rudely butting into a conversation and telling others to be more polite.

Oh, how I despise this idea that politics and religion are to treated like radioactive waste in “polite conversation.” Maybe it’s my philosophy background, but the very idea of actively not discussing something cheeses me off, particularly when it’s something so important. I’m so cheesed off that I’m even using scare quotes.

Why should I have to tailor my conversations to the least common denominator because some people aren’t mature enough to disagree without getting pissed off? Oh, no! Someone might be offended because they disagree with me about something important! What’s the point of having a discussion if it means nothing to you? Are people just trying to pollute the air with noise simply because they are terrified of silence, but equally terrified of having to think?

A cooler-headed person than I has discussed this very thing recently, positing that such a socially manufactured censorship is actually detrimental to society in that it enables these immature people to continue their charade and never requires them to mature. Furthermore, he makes the very convincing point that, “if the conversation would turn to bickering simply because there’s a disagreement, than it is not a polite conversation to begin with, only pseudo-polite,” and that, “the parties to a conversation like that never had any real respect for each other in the first place, they just didn’t have the opportunity to display their disrespect.”

This artificial censorship construct may very well be the reason for the widening chasm between liberal and conservative and Christian and atheist that has gotten significantly worse these past few decades. Because you cannot discuss your political views with the other side, as it were, the only conversations you have on religion and politics are merely echo chambers where the loudest, most radical views tend to be the most heard and eventually shift everyone bit by bit to the extreme. For every Fred Phelps, there is a Christopher Hitchins and for every Mike Meehan there will be a Michael Newdow. Mind you, it’s not that I completely disagree with some of these people, but all of them are so pigheaded that they just make their side look equally ridiculous.

It’s as if the spirit of Rudy Giuliani has been summoned to the land of the snow birds.  A man in Orlando has rented several billboards to promote his CD and website, which also encourages people to not vote Democrat. Okay, fine, whatever. It’s dumb and a cheap marketing ploy.  The bonus is that he’s invoking 9/11 to encourage you to vote for Republicans.

Yeah, the billboard has a picture of the smoldering twin towers right next to the text, “Please don’t vote for a Democrat,” followed by a link to the guy’s website right below.

What I can’t understand is why Democrats are trying to get this billboard taken down. For one, it’s a free speech issue and trying to get it taken down makes them look like a bunch of freedom hating censorship lovers. But possibly more important, it shows their rivals as mouth breathing tards that even the most conservative of people shy away from, even if they had absolutely nothing to do with it, which seems to be the case. If anything, it makes the Republicans look bad.

Hell, if I were a Democrat in Florida, I’d actually consider putting up more of these ridiculously tasteless billboards that lambaste Democrats in such a way and have them up there until election day. I think more people would be swayed to vote Democrat than would be swayed to vote Republican by this. Sure, people in general are morons, but I think most people by now have become steeled against those who would use 9/11 for fun and profit.

True, Democrats putting up tasteless anti-Democratic billboards is slimy and underhanded, and I’m not going to invoke a tu quoque by saying it’s okay because the Republicans did it first, I just like seeing things like that billboard backfire on people.

Oh, and WFTV, you’re living proof that computers make crappy spell checkers. It’s censor, not sensor. The spell checker didn’t catch it because sensor is a real word; it’s just not the word you want to use when you are talking about some agency interfering with someone’s right to free speech.