Extremely Lame

Something I’ve noticed with people is that the stricter their diets become, the less I want to deal with them. Not because their diets scare me or anything, it’s just that they get more and more unpleasant to be around, not to mention completely deluded. Vegetarians are cool; it’s rare that you find one that tries to shove their diet down your throat, probably because so few of them engage in their diet as a religious experience or ethical dilemma. The few vegans I knew in college tended to be pretentious twats. They were far more likely to be extremists that looked down on those of us that used our canine teeth. Hell, they tended to look down at regular vegetarians for their consumption of “liquid meat” (milk) and equated the milking of a cow to rape. Mind you, not all of the vegans I knew were like this. There were a couple who didn’t consider their diet a political rallying cry and I thought  they were pretty cool.

Further down the line are the raw food vegans. Not only do they eschew meat and other animal products, but they also eschew cooking their food. Gone is the stark raving politicism for the most part, but it gets replaced with an idealism that borders on mental illness.

Get a load of Alissa Cohen is claiming about a raw food diet:

There are numerous benefits to eating a raw and living food diet. Some of these benefits include people healing themselves of diabetes, fibromyalgia, acne, migraines, back pain, neck and joint pain, asthma, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, hypoglycemia, colitis, diverticulitis, Candida, arthritis, serious allergies, depression, anxiety, mood swings, heartburn, gas, bloating, skin diseases, obesity, chronic fatigue, cancers and many more. Excess weight seems to just melt off your body when you eat a raw and living food diet! The raw and living food diet has helped many people feel better when nothing else has worked.

By eating a raw and living food diet you will begin to turn back the hands of time. People who eat raw food have a glow to their skin, a shine to their hair, a sparkle in their eyes, a healthy, fit, body and look younger than their age. They have a youthful energy and they feel good about themselves and happy to be alive!

People have reported their hair turning back to its natural color, teeth getting tighter and gums stop bleeding, wrinkles, deep creases and age spots disappearing, dark circles, bags and eye puffiness vanishing, acne and blemishes fading, looking better without make-up and having a natural sunny blush.

If you are sick, tired, overweight or just want to feel better than you do right now, this way of eating could be the answer that you are looking for. The raw and living food diet has been one of the greatest miracles in many peoples lives.

That’s a lot of frou frou nonsense there. Let’s go over the high points, shall we? In addition to being healthy (arguable, but probably better for you than a diet of fast food), it also cures diabeetus, migraines, arthritis, depression, and cancer! Not only that, but it stops and reverses the aging process. Glory glory hallelujah!

Now, if someone on the street told you that their dietary supplement would cure all these things, you’d laugh in their face and rightfully call them a snake oil salesman. Why isn’t there the same kind of skepticism for dietary fads that claim the same thing?